10 Rules Of Etiquette You Need To Know

I'm feeling generous so I'm gonna give you 10 pieces of advise that will help make you a better you... and by "ten" I mean "close enough."

• Feel free to keep your cell phone on inside the theater... just make sure you sign the death waiver before entering, mother fucker.
• Keep your naughty mirror pics in a seperate folder from the ones of your 3 month old baby.
• If you see a Jonas brother outside of it's cage, kill it before it gets a hold of your children. (That's not really an "etiquette" thing... it's more of a humanitarian thing.)
• Speaking of music... turn your fucking stereo down at stop-lights. It's bad enough we hear the Black Eyed Peas every time we turn around... you don't want people to know you're the reason why.
• Stop sending me Farmville gift requests and help my fucking mafia!
• Check to make sure they got your order right at the drive-thru window! Trust me, if you look away for even a second to pull forward a little bit, they'll try to pick up the whole fucking store and run! However, if they do get your order wrong, your fat ass could use the exercise you'd get from walking inside to demand a free milkshake for your "troubles".
• Don't cuss so much. It's ugly.
• West Virginia - Move to the other side of the country. Virginians don't wanna look out their window and see a big Sloth looking mother fucker saying "Hey you guys! Wanna play ball?!"