Untitled Crime Story

Ive been working on this script for a crime story comic book for a few weeks now. I originally wanted to just do a graphic novel but now I kinda want to submit it to Zuda. I've been meaning to do a submission for that site anyway.

Click the "read more..." to read the first 2 pages. It doesn't really tell you much about the overall story but I think it's a perfect example of how the story would be written. Check it out and leave a comment please!


PAGE ONE

Panel 1. Establishing shot - On the rooftop of a average size city building late at night. Bobby holds a gun to a middle-aged man (Dan) who stands on the edge of the building, hands tied behind his back. Behind Bobby, three other men are on their knees, hands tied the same.

CAPTION: Now

DAN: Forget that “bigger the gun” garbage. Hell, the smaller the gun the easier to hide the damn thing!

BOBBY: Are you done?

Panel 2. Dan shrugs with a sinister smile.

DAN: You’re a damn fool, kid. It’s gonna get you killed.

Panel 3. Bobby shoots him sending him falling backwards over the building’s ledge. Blood sprays everywhere.

SFX: (gun fire)

Panel 4. Bobby pulls the next guy (Tom) up by the arm leading him toward the ledge.

BOBBY: I used to work for a guy that called me “kid” all the time.




PAGE TWO

Panel 1. This shot is similar to the first panel of page one with Tom in Dan’s place.

BOBBY: They fired me after I knocked his fat ass out.

TOM: Alright, alright! They’re over at Mason’s place! Now let me go!

Panel 2. Bobby lowers his gun to his side.

BOBBY: I already went by there. Nobody home but his wife and the guy she’s cheating on him with.

Panel 3. He shoots him sending him sending blood flying and the body falling.

SFX: (gun fire)

Panel 4. He grabs the next guy. The man’s eyes bulge as he trembles in fear.

MAN (screaming): It’s a restaurant on 38th!! They hang out in the manager’s office!!

MAN: Please don’t kill me!

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Star Stream Page

Here's an early rough sketch for the next page of Star Stream

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Swordsman Character Design

A character design I did in my free time.

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Stargate SG-1: Children of the Gods (Final Cut)

I picked up the "Final Cut" version of the Stargate SG-1 pilot episode 'Children of the Gods' this morning. Brad Wright (on of the two main show-runners) decided, after 12 years, that he wasn't happy with the original pilot episode and wanted to go back and "redo" it. There are scenes added, some deleted and some entirely new (and updated) special effects.

I like the new version better. The biggest difference to me was Christopher Judge re-voicing his entire part and the added scenes with him. Especially the conversation with Sam after they broke out of the prison.

The final 30 minutes are 10x better now, especially visually. I always thought the scene where Teal'C stops, throws the staff weapon to O'Neill and then turns back was over-the-top because the other Jaffa were just standing there the whole time! It's still not perfect but it felt like they didn't waste any time to fire back. The action in that whole scene had a lot more life.

The gliders at the end were better too.

And of course getting rid of that ridiculous reproductive organs line alone made the whole thing worth it. Actually most of that scene is gone and the updated version really makes Carter look a lot stronger and less defensive.

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Rambling: Wild Cherry Pepsi

Wild cherry pepsi should be called "mild cherry pepsi". I think that's what makes it taste so perfect... they didn't put too much cherry flavor in it so there's no overkill.

Regular pepsi isn't as smooth, cherry coke doesn't match it in flavor, and don't even get me started on what a waste of time "pepsi throwback" is.

Being the perfect drink comes with great responsibility. It's not just as simple as "wake up, be cherry pepsi, go to work, world saved!" It has to be served under specific parameters.

The temperature has to be within striking distance of freezing without actually being frozen. You can't drink it if it's solid ice!

It has to be the perfect time of day. You can't just wake up in the morning and have cherry pepsi for breakfast. Try to drink your cherry pepsi in the late afternoon or early evening. Another great time to drink cherry pepsi is immediately following some vigorous activity such as sports or sex. (as noted, sleeping is not a vigorous activity)

It helps to drink cherry pepsi in coordination with other nutritional consumption, such as lunch or dinner. The BLT is my personal favorite.

There are a lot of right ways to drink cherry pepsi and a lot of wrong ways. Try it on your own and see if it works for you!

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Rambling: Writer's Block

Everything feels quiet and slow today. I feel like I'm stuck in twilight and the clock won't move. It's like a strange unwanted euphoria. I'm not sure if anyone should ever feel this peaceful.

I've got absolutely nothing to write about right now so here's the first installment of 'Rambling'

I've been suffering a little writer's block lately. I wrote an eight page script for a hopeful Zuda submission and let it sit for a few days to see what I think after giving it some time. I didn't like it.

It's not that I wasn't happy with the story overall, it's that some of the characters' choices didn't seem to follow any logical consistency. I wanted a main supporting character (Beth) to have her doubts about Bobby (the main character) but at the same time, a main theme of the story was that she provides shelter (and in effect an anchor) for him.

When I re-read the story I couldn't get past this. It nagged at me like a self-centered cat demanding attention to the point you can't do anything else until it's happy.

I came to the conclusion I'd add a third character in my second draft. That would allow Beth to fill her role as Bobby's anchor while using this new character as a way to introduce that doubt in Beth.

It made perfect sense and everything seemed fine. Then my mind went blank and I have no idea where to start. GODDAMMIT!

That's the way it goes sometimes. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

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Green Lantern

Green Lantern! I've got a colored (kinda) version of this I'll try to post later.

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Thordis

I did this for a weekly sketch group. Click "read more" for more information about the character.

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Apparently Thordis is a female version of Thor. Her alter-ego is Jane Foster (an old love interest of Thor's alter-ego, Donald Blake) The Thordis character only appeared in a "What If" story, but the Jane Foster character is gonna be played by Natalie Portman in the movie version

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Star Stream Preview 2

Here's the second preview image. Remember to check out the comic HERE tomorrow!
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Star Stream Preview 1

Here's a last minute preview of tomorrow's Star Stream page.CLICK HERE to view larger file.

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Star Stream HD Trailer

This is a new trailer for Star Stream I made the other day. Click "read more..." to see a larger version of it or click here to watch it on YouTube.






It's in HD for those that have it. I used all the original high resolution art from the comic so it looks great in full screen. I also created the music for the trailer. I don't really have a name for the song but for now I'm calling it 'Star Theme' (get it?)

Check it out and if you're watching it on the youtube site, rate it and leave a comment.

And don't forget to go check out STAR STREAM otherwise it would defeat the whole purpose of creating a trailer for the webcomic!

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Review: Assignment (Zuda) ****

Assignment

One of world’s best assassins inadvertently becomes responsible for saving the world. His path will force him to deal with ancient conspiracies, an insane corporation, and an unimaginable horror.

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Assignment is a wonderfully executed horro/crime story with beautiful art. It's a little strange though.



I'm a little bias toward crime stories. The first comic/webcomic I wrote was Clinical Assassin. I love the genre. Assignment looks like a hybrid of horror and crime (at least it's listed under "horror") Whatever that "horror" element is, it's not entirely clear in the first eight pages.

The lead character is the kind of psycho killer that gives Ben Deacon (the Clinical Assassin) a run for his money. I don't know what the hell was going on in that last scene but I'd love to find out.

ART

I loved the use of color more than anything - Simple two-tone color schemes that stay consistent from scene to scene. It makes the comic stand out as a unique piece of art that doesn't just follow whatever current trend is hot.

That doesn't mean the stylized line art isn't impressive because it is. The artist obviously has solid technical skills and the creative mind to use those skills to reach the best possible outcome.

Assignment doesn't have any clear weakness... at least none that I noticed.

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Review: 9th Year (Zuda)

9th Year***

Nine years after a bloody war between humanity and demons, a messianic sect governs the world. In a small European village, the people keep on fighting.
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9th Year looks alright. It's a horror/thriller comic which I don't usually get into.

The best part is probably the pencils. The colors don't do enough to stand out but with this style of line art they don't really have to.

I thought a story about humanity (under the rule of a religious faction) being at war with demons was gonna have a heavy-handed overtone but fortunately it's missing from the first eight pages. That doesn't ease my fear (for lack of a better word) about it possibly showing up in the rest of the story.

The actual demons look kinda cool. They're pretty much shown entirely in silhouette the whole time and all you can see are the white eyes but the outline clearly looks demonic (or at least non-human)

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Leonardo TMNT

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