Monday, November 30, 2009

NFL Monday Night Football Nov 30

SEASON TOTAL: 120-87

New England at New Orleans


Expect a lot of scoring tonight... a lot of scoring!

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Sunday, November 29, 2009

NFL Picks Nov 29

Here are my week 8 NFL picks. As always, winners in green.

SEASON TOTAL: 117-84
Carolina at NY Jets
Indianapolis at Houston
Jacksonville at San Francisco
Chicago at Minnesota
Arizona at Tennessee
Pittsburgh at Baltimore


I was looking at the Colts' schedule yesterday and the last six games are all against middle-of-the-road teams. On an individual basis, none of them really have a chance to beat them, but combined on a short-season schedule (meaning the remainder of the Colts' season) it's more than likely the Colts will slip up and beat themselves somewhere between now and the playoffs. (Like Minnesota losing the Pittsburgh... does anybody seriously think that would happen if they played again today?)

The Saints aren't much worse off. If they get past the Patriots on Monday night, the chances of meeting the Colts in an historic Super Bowl match-up of two undefeated teams becomes a lot more likely.

That said, I'm still going with the Colts and Vikings in the Super Bowl.

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Saturday, November 28, 2009

NCAA Football Picks Rivalry Week

It's Rivalry Week!

SEASON TOTAL: 109-81

No.18 Clemson at South Carolina
No.12 Oklahoma State at Oklahoma
Florida State at No.1 Florida
No.14 Virginia Tech at Virginia
No.17 Miami at South Florida
No.21 Utah at No.19 Brigham Young
Arkansas at No.15 LSU
Tennessee at Kentucky
Georgia at No.7 Georgia Tech
Notre Dame at Stanford
UCLA at No.20 USC


Most of these games look pretty one-sided. Clemson, Oklahoma State, Miami and Stanford are the most likely to be upset. Utah and BYU are too close for either side to really be an upset.

The only upset I would really care about would be the FSU game. I'd give anything to see that one... well almost anything.

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Thursday, November 26, 2009

Beck Rules Out 2012 Run With Palin: She'd Always Be 'Yapping' Like We're 'In The Kitchen' (AUDIO)


I can't believe I'm defending Palin, but that's a very sexist thing to say. And on top of the "You belong in the kitchen" part he says "Beck/Palin I'll consider. But Palin/Beck­..."
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

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Football PIcks: A Very Special Thanksgiving P.E.T.A. Edition

It's Thanksgiving and the turkey is dead and roasting in the oven... Now let's have some fucking Football! Before I get on to the picks though, can I just say "Fuck you, NFL, for continuing the tradition of ruining Thanksgiving with your stupid fucking turkey day schedule!"

SEASON TOTAL: 106 - 80

NCAA:
No.3 Texas at Texas A&M

NFL:
Green Bay at Detroit
Oakland at Dallas
NY Giants at Denver


I can't think of anything I'd love more than to have to sit through these horrific fucking games...

Green Bay wins because they're playing a minor league team.

Oakland or Dallas wins, either way nobody gives a fuck.

The Giants/Broncos game would be a great game if it were the Giants and Broncos of Week 4... but it's not.

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Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Perino: No Terrorist Attacks In America Under Bush (VIDEO)


That's because to people like her and the Bush administration 9-11 wasn't a terrorist attack... it was an opportunity.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

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The Side-Hug: Youth Group Puts Down Sinful "Front-Hugs" With Rap (VIDEO)


They ripped off the imperial march...
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

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Saturday, November 21, 2009

Shroud Of Turin Is Real, Vatican Historian Says


Proving that the shroud is real is kind of a misdirect. It doesn't prove that there was a Messiah. It just proves that there was a guy named Jesus who "incited a revolt." It actually does more to prove that Jesus was a rebel leader than the son of god.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

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Chris Matthews Criticizes Obama Using Cheney's "Dithering" Remark (VIDEO)


This is the real Chris Matthews. The goddamn idiot that doesn't know when to shut the fuck up. He's a Clinton Democrat... a not really Democrat.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

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Friday, November 20, 2009

NFL Picks Nov 22

Fuck you, NFL! Fuck you and your-- Oh, I already used that one? :)

SEASON TOTAL: pending

San Francisco at Green Bay
Atlanta at NY Giants
Indianapolis at Baltimore
NY Jets at New England
San Diego at Denver
Philadelphia at Chicago


Despite their record, I still think the 49ers are an underrated team.

The big game this week is the Colts/Ravens game. There are really only two teams left on the Colts' schedule with a good chance of ending their perfect season, and the Ravens are one of them. (The other is Denver)

Speaking of Denver, I think their little 3-game slump is over this week.

And lastly, and most unfortunately, I think the Patriots will get their payback in the rematch of their week 2 loss to the Jets.

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NCAA Football Picks Nov 21

Fuck you, college football! Fuck yuo and your personal attacks against my season record! :) Had to get that off my chest...

SEASON TOTAL: 99-73

No.10 Ohio State at Michigan
North Carolina at Boston College
Oklahoma at Texas Tech
No.8 LSU at Mississippi
No.16 Wisconsin at Northwestern
Air Force at No.22 Brigham Young
No.25 California at No.17 Stanford
No.11 Oregon at Arizona


Apparently I'm the only person that doesn't think the Ohio State/Michigan rivalry is that exciting... at least not since they met a few years ago as the No.1 & No.2 in the nation.

Today's game is a huge one for BC's ACC Championship hopes.. If they can get past UNC, they'll still need Clemson to lose next week, but if they lose, it won't matter what happens to Clemson next week.

I think Air Force has the best chances to be this week's big upset. Arizona could be the other one... but I'm not risking that pick.

And when the fuck did Cal and Stanford break into the top 25?

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Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Allen Iverson, Memphis Terminate Contract: Gone After Three Games


Iverson may be getting old and he might not be as good as he used to be... but he's sure as hell better than anybody else on that team. And the Memphis organization obviously doesn't have a clue if they signed AI just to bring him off the bench...



He was averaging 12 pts off the bench and had a better FG% than their big men... He was putting up more points and assists per minute than any other guard. I'd leave the team too.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

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Monday, November 16, 2009

Untelevised: Twitter Wars


Tea-Baggers drive me crazy and their stupid fucking meme isn't funny... Oh! and Untelevised is back!


Most memes have a reason. Usually it's just to make people laugh, but at least it's a reason. The only thing I see happening with the #youmightbealiberal meme on twitter is a bunch of dumb tea-baggers looking for another place to shout incoherent bullshit and vent the frustration they feel from whatever the fuck they're frustrated by.

So I decided to run my mouth too. Why? Because I like to make fun of morons. Especially bigots that don't make any damn sense.

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Sunday, November 15, 2009

Did Pacquiao Make Web History?

This is exactly what boxing needs to make a comeback... name recognition!
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

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Brandon Jennings' 55 Points Sets NBA Record (VIDEO)


This was impressive for a rookie, but keep in mind it was against the Warriors
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

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NFL Picks Nov 15

I didn't do as good as I wanted yesterday. *note to self: No more "upset weeks"

SEASON TOTAL: 97-70

Jacksonville at NY Jets
Cincinnati at Pittsburgh
Dallas at Green Bay
Philadelphia at San Diego
New England at Indianapolis


The night game tonight could be a preview of the AFC Championship. I hope it's a high scoring game.

The other big game of the day is Cincinnati/Pittsburgh. Ochocinco has been twittering about "something special" he has planned for the game so I hope he scores a few touchdowns :)

I really don't wanna pick the Cowboys. I'm only picking them because they've been on a roll lately... but I've got a feeling I'm gonna regret it.

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Friday, November 13, 2009

NCAA Football Picks Nov 14 (UPSET WEEK!)

I'm picking a lot of games this week, and a lot of them are upset picks!

SEASON TOTAL: 90-63

No. 7 Georgia Tech at Duke
No. 15 Houston at UCF
Tennessee at Mississippi
No. 1 Florida at South Carolina
Idaho at No. 6 Boise State
Stanford at No. 9 USC
No. 10 Iowa at No. 11 Ohio State
No. 14 Miami (FL) at North Carolina
No. 17 Arizona at California
Auburn at Georgia
Texas A&M at Oklahoma
No. 16 Utah at No. 4 TCU
Notre Dame at No. 12 Pittsburgh
Texas Tech at No. 19 Oklahoma State

I'm picking most of these upsets because I just have a gut feeling the BCS picture is gonna look a lot different after this weekend... or more accurately, it will but it won't. I'm still confident the Nation Championship game is gonna come down to Texas against the winner of the SEC Championship game (Florida/Alabama) but the rest of the BCS bowl games are gonna see some big shale-ups.

Both Georgia Tech and USC could jump up a few spots, and the winner of the Iowa/Ohio State game might move up a few spots.

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NCAA Football PIcks Nov 13

I almost forgot about this... this is maybe the first time I've ever posted a pick after the game had already started! :( It's still early and the score is tied, so I'm posting it anyway. I'll have tomorrow's picks up in a few minutes.

SEASON TOTAL: 90-62

No. 25 West Virginia at No. 5 Cincinnati



I'm taking WVU in the upset here.

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Beaver Urinates On CBS Correspondent's Face (VIDEO)


"Aww it tastes like bitter mountain dew!" :(
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

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Man Distracted By Bird Drives Bugatti Into Marsh


That's what you get for paying $1 million for a car that doesn't float or transform into a boat or something!
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

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Thursday, November 12, 2009

Thursday Night Football Picks Nov 12

The NFL kicks off the Thursday Night games tonight with a colossal, epic, EPIC match-up between the... Bears and 49ers... Well it could be worse, I guess.

SEASON TOTAL: 89-61

NCAA:
No. 24 South Florida at Rutgers

NFL:
Chicago at San Francisco


Even though neither of these games will be very exciting, the college game might be a little better.

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Carrie Prejean Threatens To Walk Off <em>Larry King</em> (VIDEO)


What kind of idiot takes the mic off to leave but just sits there?
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

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Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Should We Ban Football?

Did this dude seriously just compare the violence of Football to the Gladiators?
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

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Tuesday, November 10, 2009

2012 Prophecies Sparking Real Fears, Suicide Warnings


Run for your lives, we're all gonna die!!



First a super-volcano is gonna erupt because there were no innocent virgins left to be sacrificed. then an asteroid is gonna hit just off the coast of NYC so the tidal wave will knock over the statue of liberty, then the government will hold a lottery to see who gets to live in the giant underground bunkers they secretly built (and have amazingly kept hidden for all these years) and finally - when the aliens begin their invasion - Jesus will ride in on a pterodactyl with a giant flaming sword and save us all... or the tea-baggers anyway...
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

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Monday, November 9, 2009

NFL Monday Night Football Pick Nov 9

SEASON TOTAL: 89-60

Pittsburgh at Denver


I'm not 100% sure about this one.

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300,000 Birds Swarm Over Denmark At Once (VIDEO)


They are coming. Be afraid!
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

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Sunday, November 8, 2009

NFL Picks Nov 8


SEASON TOTAL: 86-57

Arizona at Chicago
Baltimore at Cincinnati
Houston at Indianapolis
Miami at New England
San Diego at NY Giants
Dallas at Philadelphia


Apparently I'm picking the home team in every game. And the Eagles are gonna take over first in the NFC East.

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Saturday, November 7, 2009

MSNBC's Shuster Assails GOP Leadership's Embrace Of Right-Wing Scare Tactics, Ex-GOP Congressman Storms Off Set After Insult


The Chicken-Hawk bailed because he was called on his bullshit. Obama could learn something here:



If you get right back in their faces, they usually run away.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

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NCAA Football Picks Nov 7

SEASON TOTAL: 84-52

No. 9 LSU at No. 3 Alabama
No. 8 Oregon at Stanford
No. 16 Ohio State at No. 11 Penn State
Duke at North Carolina
Oregon State at No. 20 California
Florida State at Clemson
No. 24 Oklahoma at Nebraska


LSU is pretty much the last tough team on Alabama's schedule. If they win today, they have Auburn in the last week of the season, which doesn't look like it'll be a problem right now, and then Florida in the SEC championship. (Can you say "Playoff game"?)

Penn State is playing their last (and really the only) tough game on the schedule too. I bet they wish they could have a do-over in that Iowa game!

Duke is 5-3? Has anybody checked to see that the Earth is still on it's axis?

Clemson, Clemson, Clemson! They've fucked with me all year. When I pick 'em the lose. When I pick against 'em they win... and I'm convinced it's on purpose! :p

Not this time, Clemson. You hear me? You're not beating me this time!

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Thursday, November 5, 2009

NCAA Football Picks Nov 5

SEASON TOTAL: 83-52

No. 23 Virginia Tech at East Carolina


Thursday is the 5th day of the week, and the 5th day of November. Tyrod Taylor wears number 5. So obviously he's gonna have a big game tonight! The logic is solid!

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William Shatner Reads "Levi Johnston"'s Tweets (VIDEO)


Denny Crane! Still undefeated!
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

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Beyonce Egypt Show Called "Insolent Sex Party" By Islamic Conservatives


It's still 1958 in Egypt... they don't have daylight saving time.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

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Marcus Jordan Wears Dad's Shoes, Blows School's $3 Million Adidas Deal


Let me get this straight... this school is already making millions off of young athletes that they don't pay. And now, on top of that, they want to force the players to wear a specific shoe so they can make a few more million and you're all complaining about Jordan because he wants to wear the shoes with his ****ing name-sake?



You've missed the forest for the trees.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

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Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Rascell Williams: Man Charged With Videotaping Cat Torture


It takes a real asshole to hang a fucking kitten... and the damn thing survived! Way to go, Fluffy!
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

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Monday, November 2, 2009

NFL Monday Night Football Nov 2

I had another great day yesterday. Between the NCAA and NFL picks this weekend I'm 12-4 and my season total is really improving.

SEASON TOTAL: 82-52

Atlanta at New Orleans


The Saints and the Colts are the only two undefeated teams left and the Colts have already played, and won, this week's game. I think the Saints are gonna be the first of the two to lose. I just don't think it's gonna happen tonight.

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Sunday, November 1, 2009

NFL Picks Nov 1

It's the month of the turkey and we're almost to the midway point of the 2009 season.

SEASON TOTAL: 77-51

Houston at Buffalo
Denver at Baltimore
San Francisco at Indianapolis
Miami at NY Jets
NY Giants at Philadelphia
Minnesota at Green Bay


If I could revise my Super Bowl picks from the pre-season, I'd still bet on the Colts in the AFC, but I might change my NFC pick (Eagles) in favor of the Saints or Vikings. But I still think if the Eagles can get healthy - and stay healthy - they're just as good as those teams. That's why I'm picking them to beat the Giants.

I said in last week's NFL Picks that I thought Denver would lose this week to Baltimore... so I kinda have to stick to that pick. Not that I have a problem with the pick.

I wanna point out that despite the Dolphins 2-4 record (and the Jets 4-2 record) that one of those two wins came three weeks ago to... the Jets.

Aaaand the big game of the week (and maybe the season) is the Vikings/Packers game in Green Bay. This isn't even close to the biggest (actually important) game of the year though. It's just the most hyped up game (by a story-hungry media) that if you look past all of the over-blown drama (from a story-hungry media) it's a pretty one-sided match-up. The story-hungry media has spent so much time focusing their attention on Favre returning home to single-handedly take on the blood-thirsty Packers in an epic quest for revenge!!, that they've completely forgotten (or at least it seems that way) to mention Adrian Peterson... You may remember that Adrian Peterson was THE BEST FUCKING RUNNING BACK IN THE GODDAMN GAME! The Vikings are gonna win. No question.

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